I am a 51 year old white female who has been married for 32 years and has two adult children (a daughter, 27 and a son, 24). I was raised as a conservative Christian (although I am not anymore) and am a moderate politically.
When our daughter was 20, she got and apartment with another friend, but they needed a third person to be able to afford their rent. Enter Brian. They met him through Roommates.com. He was the girls' age and like them, a college student. He told them right off the bat that he was gay. They didn't care. They all hit it off and became best buds. About six months later Brian decided he needed to come out to his family. It was devastating. His "Christian" family basically disowned him with his grandmother's parting words being, "I hope you get AIDS and die." So our family rallied around him and took him in as one of our own. Over the next two years he spent all his holidays with our family. The three roomies all graduated and took jobs, Brian, in Colorado. He and my daughter are still best friends. When my daughter got engaged, she asked him to stand up with her as her honor attendant. He was thrilled. A couple of years ago he asked me if he ever found Prince Charming, would I walk him down the aisle and give him away at his wedding. With tears in my eyes, I said, " YES!"
So what is the point of this story? It is that before Brian came into my life, I thought that homosexuality was wrong and "yucky", when I gave it any thought at all. It's how I was raised in church. Meeting Brian (and subsequently several of our son's gay friends) has opened my eyes to the unkindness many Christians show toward the gay community. I've been doing my part, in my small part of the world, to try to change the attitudes of family and friends. I am in favor of gay marriage ( hopefully some day it will just be marriage) and have argued endlessly with family members about it. We've agreed to disagree at this point, but I hope that they will eventually realize that love is love, no matter whom you love.
Showing posts with label straight. Show all posts
Showing posts with label straight. Show all posts
Friday, March 11, 2016
Wednesday, March 9, 2016
Karen
The annual Diversity Rally has been 25 years in the making, sadly. I had no idea who Monica Boyer was when I moved here. I had no idea the political leanings here. I would see things in the editorials and think “what a nut job” and kind of let it go. I just lived here and put up with it.
When our daughter came out to us when she was 18, I became acutely aware of the hatred in many pockets of this community. I spoke out once in a while, make a snarky comment here and there, but then I started hearing of Monica Boyer and following her on Facebook. It all came to a head when the state legislature was debating HR something to try to insert into the state constitution that marriage was solely between a male and a female, and that any other union would not be recognized, even a straight civil union. I would follow the comments, and the hatred coming off of Monica’s page was just awful. There was a super bowl ad singing the national anthem or something in different languages, and there was another commercial that showed a same-sex couple, and her page just blew up. She said something like “I didn’t even notice the couple, I was so upset with the español”. A friend said “we ought to have a diversity rally”, so that’s how it happened.
Living in Warsaw, I met people through parents of the kids at the school. Those were not deep relationships, a couple of them were, but we didn’t talk politics, it was very superficial. I did volunteer work, not deep meaningful conversations. My husband is a little more religious than I am, we go to St Anne’s. Good people there. That church runs the whole spectrum, very conservative to very liberal. It was my first place running into people very different than mine and the first place I found people with views very similar to mine, which was very refreshing.
I don’t think the Diversity Rally would have been possible 20 years ago. What’s possible now is due to the influx of younger people, and acceptance of change and acceptance of other people who are not like oneself. This place has grown considerably. The commerce has really brought in I think more, I don’t want to use the term “worldly”, but... this was a very rural community and I don’t think people got out much, or traveled and saw much outside of a 20-mile radius. I wonder how my kids’ lives would have been different if we had raised them elsewhere.
I have not gotten any negative comments about my daughter coming out. People might be afraid of me, cuz that’s probably atypical. My immediate family was very supportive, and my husband’s parents are missionaries with the Lutheran church. It was a shock to me.
I honestly think this town and its leaders and the people that I’ve encountered are open to listening to each other. The issue is a few people that are so loud that you think that is the tone of the town. The more people I’ve talked to, I’m realizing that’s not the case. They’ll have a civil discussion with you. I read the articles in the Times-Union, you would think that’s all of the community. They do hold power and you’ve got to watch them, but that’s not everyone.
With the Diversity Rally, along with getting people to tell their stories, it’s about trying to get to know each other and to learn from people who have different lives and different experiences. We’ve had a speech on different religions. Someone spoke last year from the Indian immigrant population. This year we have someone talking about age discrimination, someone talking about socio-economic discrimination. An exchange student will be talking about Islam. Someone from the Bowen Center talking about the negative mental health effects of marginalization. We have talked about hoping to do some kind of an information table where people can get resources for help, like the Bowen Center to help cope with the negativity. I think they wanted to have a table for the different groups in the community. That’s the ripple effect I’m hoping to have. (For more on this year's Diversity Rally, see the event listing on Facebook. Update: news coverage of Diversity Rally.)
Straight woman. 55. White. Living in Kosciusko County for 25 years.
When our daughter came out to us when she was 18, I became acutely aware of the hatred in many pockets of this community. I spoke out once in a while, make a snarky comment here and there, but then I started hearing of Monica Boyer and following her on Facebook. It all came to a head when the state legislature was debating HR something to try to insert into the state constitution that marriage was solely between a male and a female, and that any other union would not be recognized, even a straight civil union. I would follow the comments, and the hatred coming off of Monica’s page was just awful. There was a super bowl ad singing the national anthem or something in different languages, and there was another commercial that showed a same-sex couple, and her page just blew up. She said something like “I didn’t even notice the couple, I was so upset with the español”. A friend said “we ought to have a diversity rally”, so that’s how it happened.
Living in Warsaw, I met people through parents of the kids at the school. Those were not deep relationships, a couple of them were, but we didn’t talk politics, it was very superficial. I did volunteer work, not deep meaningful conversations. My husband is a little more religious than I am, we go to St Anne’s. Good people there. That church runs the whole spectrum, very conservative to very liberal. It was my first place running into people very different than mine and the first place I found people with views very similar to mine, which was very refreshing.
I don’t think the Diversity Rally would have been possible 20 years ago. What’s possible now is due to the influx of younger people, and acceptance of change and acceptance of other people who are not like oneself. This place has grown considerably. The commerce has really brought in I think more, I don’t want to use the term “worldly”, but... this was a very rural community and I don’t think people got out much, or traveled and saw much outside of a 20-mile radius. I wonder how my kids’ lives would have been different if we had raised them elsewhere.
I have not gotten any negative comments about my daughter coming out. People might be afraid of me, cuz that’s probably atypical. My immediate family was very supportive, and my husband’s parents are missionaries with the Lutheran church. It was a shock to me.
I honestly think this town and its leaders and the people that I’ve encountered are open to listening to each other. The issue is a few people that are so loud that you think that is the tone of the town. The more people I’ve talked to, I’m realizing that’s not the case. They’ll have a civil discussion with you. I read the articles in the Times-Union, you would think that’s all of the community. They do hold power and you’ve got to watch them, but that’s not everyone.
With the Diversity Rally, along with getting people to tell their stories, it’s about trying to get to know each other and to learn from people who have different lives and different experiences. We’ve had a speech on different religions. Someone spoke last year from the Indian immigrant population. This year we have someone talking about age discrimination, someone talking about socio-economic discrimination. An exchange student will be talking about Islam. Someone from the Bowen Center talking about the negative mental health effects of marginalization. We have talked about hoping to do some kind of an information table where people can get resources for help, like the Bowen Center to help cope with the negativity. I think they wanted to have a table for the different groups in the community. That’s the ripple effect I’m hoping to have. (For more on this year's Diversity Rally, see the event listing on Facebook. Update: news coverage of Diversity Rally.)
Straight woman. 55. White. Living in Kosciusko County for 25 years.
Thursday, February 25, 2016
Gimln
I figured out that I'm male when I was 4, but it didn’t click till I was 13. My mom takes care of most of the research for me, but my family's attitudes toward me has not changed.
People are being a lot more accepting these days, it’s not as much a crime to be different. The stuff on Caitlyn Jenner, I thought that was interesting. Warsaw Community High School talked about that for a little bit, but now it’s died out. From what I heard it was mostly positive. I have been teased in the past, so I really don’t tell anyone, and I know it’s not safe; I don’t want to end up hurt or anything.
The high school does have a GSA, Ms Hamilton is our resource coordinator, she has all these books and stuff in her classroom. She welcomes anyone, but there’s no harm in her classroom or she kicks you out. The groups meet once a month. Sometimes we hang out, sometimes it’s serious business, sometimes it’s education days like about gender verbs or differences between one thing and another, like gender fluid vs transgender.
Q: How do you think it would help if these things were taught in a general education like a health class, rather than at a school club? A: I think it would make a difference, there’s so much they could teach us that’s out there, but they don’t help us understand it.
The Leesburg/Clunette area, they’re a little more against the acceptance, they don’t think it’s right. It’s a lot of older people. In the Warsaw area, it’s a lot more accepting, they allow the LGBT community to participate in events that they didn’t used to. My immediate family is mostly supportive, but my grandmother sometimes forgets certain things; it’s difficult to break the habit.
I think understanding myself as transgender kinda fixes certain problems that I have - I have a lot stronger grip than a normal girl would. It’s kinda nice that if they don’t change the law, I would get paid more than woman, but it’s not fair to women. I feel better about myself; I don’t hate everything about me.
I definitely have to leave this area for the job I want. I hate Burbank California, but it’s where Walt Disney Animation Studios is. If that doesn’t work, I might end up teaching in a high school in California or elsewhere.
16. Trans male. Straight, prefer no sexual partner. White. Lived in area whole life. Not out to many people.
People are being a lot more accepting these days, it’s not as much a crime to be different. The stuff on Caitlyn Jenner, I thought that was interesting. Warsaw Community High School talked about that for a little bit, but now it’s died out. From what I heard it was mostly positive. I have been teased in the past, so I really don’t tell anyone, and I know it’s not safe; I don’t want to end up hurt or anything.
The high school does have a GSA, Ms Hamilton is our resource coordinator, she has all these books and stuff in her classroom. She welcomes anyone, but there’s no harm in her classroom or she kicks you out. The groups meet once a month. Sometimes we hang out, sometimes it’s serious business, sometimes it’s education days like about gender verbs or differences between one thing and another, like gender fluid vs transgender.
Q: How do you think it would help if these things were taught in a general education like a health class, rather than at a school club? A: I think it would make a difference, there’s so much they could teach us that’s out there, but they don’t help us understand it.
The Leesburg/Clunette area, they’re a little more against the acceptance, they don’t think it’s right. It’s a lot of older people. In the Warsaw area, it’s a lot more accepting, they allow the LGBT community to participate in events that they didn’t used to. My immediate family is mostly supportive, but my grandmother sometimes forgets certain things; it’s difficult to break the habit.
I think understanding myself as transgender kinda fixes certain problems that I have - I have a lot stronger grip than a normal girl would. It’s kinda nice that if they don’t change the law, I would get paid more than woman, but it’s not fair to women. I feel better about myself; I don’t hate everything about me.
I definitely have to leave this area for the job I want. I hate Burbank California, but it’s where Walt Disney Animation Studios is. If that doesn’t work, I might end up teaching in a high school in California or elsewhere.
16. Trans male. Straight, prefer no sexual partner. White. Lived in area whole life. Not out to many people.
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