Anonymous 5

I've lived in Kosciusko my whole life. The population is fairly conservative but I have noticed a rise in the number of people that are more open to positive changes and acceptance of differences in others. Kosciusko does have community members that are LGBT but I wouldn't say they have a strong LGBT community. Most people I know who are LGBT want to get out of Kosciusko in hopes to find better LGBT community elsewhere.

In middle school, all the girls were obsessed with boys and I never understood. I was just like yeah, big whoop. Never was physically attracted to guys. Thought maybe something was broken in me. Freshman year of high school, with hormones and all that shit, I started dating a guy not because I was attracted to him but because he liked me and I wanted to fill my need of being loved by someone. But it never felt right. Then I realized I was more attracted to my best friend than I was to my boyfriend.

I am definitely "in the closet" in my home life. I was raised in the church and my family carries strong beliefs. I am extremely open with my friends and colleagues. I have, however, lied to people countless times about my sexuality. I try not to get involved in public affairs because I still live with my parents and am afraid they will not be accepting of my "lifestyle and choices." I quite often hear my mom go on and on about how the gays are ruining America and how it's a shame that so many of my siblings' high school classmates are "coming out so confidently." I have heard many a douche bag use degrading slangs and phrases towards myself and others. I currently have at least one person, that I know of only because they told me, trying to "pray the gay away" out of me.

Because of the place I am in life right now, I've just chosen to stay single and not look for a relationship. (The college I go to is a private Christian school. [yes, I'm one of those gay Christians]) I don't necessarily try to hide my differences. I don't feel like I'm much different than others. I just am attracted to women. I came out to closest friends and then to my colleagues. They have been my greatest supporters. It feels so freeing to just be myself. I hope to one day come out entirely.

20-ish. Lesbian/bisexual woman/female. White. Working class. Grew up here.

Whisper

How would you describe life in Kosciusko County for gay and trans folks?

Maybe one step above being black in 1950s Mississippi.

Middle of nowhere = Burn the gay folk. Country bumpkins are scared of the gay folk.

Cole

I am a very open and proud transman. I lead a group in south bend for transgender males and non binary identified individuals. I am currently approaching my one year mark on hrt. In less than 2 weeks I have a court date to legally change my name and (hopefully) my gender marker.

I realized who I am when I was 5 or 6 years old. I grew up with my grandparents and in the summer all the kids would play outside at one neighbor's house or another. My grandma had pulled me aside to explain that I had to leave my short on when playing outside. My response was "why? The other boys don't". Honestly... It was hell in high school. I couldn't leave fast enough. It did however teach me about hypocrisy, and how NOT to treat others.

The only place I am not 100% open with others as to who I am is at work. I am with the crew on my shift and am working towards being completely open. Hopefully not at the cost of losing my job. I was fired from a position only one time in my entire life. The company terminated my employment due to attendance when according to their own policy I had zero points against me. The owner of the company made no effort to hide his religious beliefs. I was open about who I am as I always have been and you could tell he didn't like it.

There is a small group that has get togethers in Kosciusko County currently. I went to one last month and they were a very nice group of ppl. I think if there aren't more changes for the better, the locals will continue to seek more accepting communities.

I'm becoming more political as time goes on and do what I can to help others realize we are who we are. Be proud and own OT :) I do hope that with being so open I'm able to help others. I've been told I inspire others to go after dreams that they had otherwise thought impossible.

30-ish. Queer trans male. White. Working class. Grew up here. Moved away in 2005.

Anonymous 3

I went to Grace College. When I see people I went to school with or have contact with the school, I'm uncomfortable. I went to church here for years. Contact with people I knew from church is also uncomfortable. Sometimes I assume many in the Warsaw area have similar beliefs as I've heard from church and college, making me be fairly cautious in public.

I was raised hearing God sends homosexuals to Hell. That was all I ever heard. I always knew I didn't quite fit in. I was very lonely. In highschool I noticed I had different attractions, but I didn't dare. I went to a conservative college where I kept it to myself. I was a rule-follower hoping everything would work out. I got married, had a kid and a career, but I was dying inside. Eventually I realized I wasn't really living, my years were just slipping away as I suffered through. I was in my thirties by the time I decided I needed to care less about what everyone else thought and take better care of myself.

I'm an introverted person. Those close to me know about my personal life. To me it's a private matter. I am not forward about it. If it comes up, I won't deny it either. I am more careful at work and in our community. I have groups of friends where I feel more freedom. I'm politically aware and vote. When I'm getting dressed I'm mindful of if I blend in enough or if I will stand out. I want to be comfortable, but I don't want to stand out.

I have people who won't talk to me anymore. When I told my best friend in college, she freaked out. She wouldn't talk to me for a month. I felt horrible and more lonely than before. Eventually she talked to me again, but it was never the same. Some people just seem to need to share their beliefs about it if I'm asking them or not. Mostly people are just uncomfortable. I think it will take some time. Maybe within five to ten years people will be more comfortable.

I joined roller derby which really enabled me to find my voice. I was with a new group of amazing women who were authentic and living life. It inspired me to live mine. There is freedom in saying this is who I am. My wife and I got married this year. I couldn't believe how many people came to support us! Many were from my wife's parents' church group. They were happy for us. I couldn't believe it.

40-ish. Lesbian female. White. Middle class. Moved here in the 2000s.

Anonymous 2

It's a little difficult living in such a conservative town. It has helped me however to still be myself. I don't necessarily feel the need to live out loud. Like not everyone needs to know that I am a lesbian. I am comfortable in my skin. The people I am close with know I have a wife and I'm not ashamed to hide it. My personal life doesn't need to be shoved in anyone's face. I think I went through a phase where I wanted people to know and accept me. But, being myself and being a good person helps people slowly accept. "Hey that's an awesome person and they happen to be gay" helps give our group a better name. My family took a while to be supportive but they got there and are the most supportive. We have to understand that it is still a very new concept for people. And they are uncomfortable with it it will take time. It isn't something that is going to change overnight. It's something we have had plenty of time to come to come to terms with it. They will get there.

I didn't realize I'm lesbian until I was about 20. Looking back it was always a thing I just was oblivious to it. When I was young, i wanted to grow up to be a boy. I was focused on how everything's "supposed" to be and always had boyfriends but realized I was never actually attracted to them, I just picked them because they were fun to hang out with and we enjoyed similar things. When other girls would talk about guys would just agree and say "yea he is so hot. I want to do things with that guy." If I were talking to a guy I could talk a lot of talk but when it came down to it I didn't even feel comfortable kissing them. I realized something was different when all the girls wanted to do things and I didn't get it. It was easy to be a Christian virgin when you're not into that. There is a point where I had to test the waters on both sides. To for sure know for myself. I am a lesbian. That is for sure. I actually developed a sex drive once I finally kissed a girl I liked.

I don't care if people know; it helps when people don't shove it in their faces. I'm not ashamed of who I am and who I am married to. I work in the public and keep it on the down low. However anyone I work with can tell you that I have a wife and a step-son who are my world. Some people are uncomfortable when I talk about it and I know not to talk about it around them - I'm being respectful to them and their belief or choice, and then they are respectful to me in return. It's a delicate balance. I was bagging groceries one day and a very conservative girl who I used to work with and knew I was gay, told me she didn't want me to bag her groceries. What irritates me the most is when you tell someone and then they think you are into them. Like honey, if most men aren't into you what makes you think I'm into you? Just because you are a girl doesn't mean I'm into you, I have standards. Are you into any just guy because he has a penis? No. I'm not into you, I am just being nice to you.

I just say screw it, and be happy - I got married to my best friend the love of my life. And couldn't be happier. So worth it. What's the point of living a lie and being miserable just to do what everyone else is comfortable with? It's nice when people know you and find out and are like oh OK. And that's it. Then say "you're married right? Tell me about your wife."

We can marry - that is huge! I think that's a little more acceptable. I think it will take time but I think eventually people will realize they are just people nothing to be afraid of.

30-ish. Lesbian female. White. Middle class. Lived here entire life.